Lost one
by insanewelshangel
Summary: KaiRei yaoi. Are you truly dead, or have I turned blind? Just, one thing, don't forget me; even if you don't love me any more.


**insanewelshangel:** One shot Kai/ Rei story, please review and I hope you enjoy.

**Disclaimer**: Beyblade is not mine

**Warning:** Boy and boy romance. If you do not like, I suggest you click off this page.

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In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me; or am I forgotten fragment of your beloved cold kiss? Your lips are so blue and frozen and somehow inviting to mine flushed with life. I miss you, lost one. You're gone and I can't do anything about that.

Yet I see you now, so close to me. I reach out but I can't touch you, or hold you close.

Those tears spring to my eyes again, the ones you would wipe away. They become ice before they hit the floor, while I can't even see your tears moving down your perfect face. Yet I'm sure your crying, your gorgeous eyes radiate the sadness concealed in their rich depths. Tears, you would say, are the purest things you'd ever had before you met me. I was blessed, and still am blessed, by your treasured company. But you don't move or smile or laugh anymore like you used to. You're dead, aren't you? My lost one, you're gone from this world and from me.

In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me? Why won't you answer me this question? I've said it time and time again, but you remain still, like you can't even hear my voice. I don't exist to you, no one does. Have you gone bitter and cold? Do you not realise I still love you even if you're not the same? You're still the person I spent my secrets and treasures with during warm days and warmer nights. You shared everything you thought, everything that crossed that mind of yours.

I never understood you, you know.

You were a delicious mystery to me. I loved mysteries. I hope that you, at least, know that. Love is a strange word, isn't it, lost one? What does love truly mean? I love you. You love me. It's all rather simple really. But it's what goes into and behind those words that should be questioned. Why do I love you? Why do you love me; why _did_ you love me?

I've never seen you sit so still, kneeled upon this wet patch of earth, like a stone angel. Yes, stone. That's what you are. Even as I rest beside you and you sigh, the first noise you've made in a while, your features are still stony. Come now, baby, why so down? Maybe if I kiss you again, like I used to, you'll respond.

Why do you cry? Have I done something? How can I make you feel better and lose that empty look in your once happy eyes? You do confuse me. You always have. Yet I loved that. There's that word again, dear, love. Do you still feel that or has the death you radiate killed that feeling too? The one feeling that we've both felt?

The sky reflects you. It's clouded, what's behind those grey wisps? Is God looking secretly down upon us? Is he hiding like you are now, buried away from me? I can see you; but you are dead to the world. I feel like shaking you sometimes, to wake you up from the silent slumber you live in, if it can be called living.

Why do you shiver so? You never used to shiver when I was around. I'm beside you right now, as are many others. You don't see them, you can't see me either. I'm warm; lost one, please don't shiver so. Just move closer to me like you used to. I'll warm your deathly cold skin. I reach out for you again, you don't move away, but you don't move closer either. What's wrong? Why do you act so strange? You used to say that I was the one who would be your sun and your stars, the only one who could make you smile so honestly. You don't say anything at all now. You stare blankly through the eyes that might as well be closed. They couldn't be anymore blank and emotionless.

You, emotionless! I never thought I'd have to say that, not _again_ anyway. You frustrate me so, lost one. Why do you ignore me? Why won't you answer, I'm crying for you but you don't even blink. Through this mass of confusion I feel anger bubbling up. Stop being dead! Stop it! Why do you do this to me, why did you go? Why did you leave me all alone?

In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me? Answer me please, I pray.

I remember those nights we would spend together, warmed by the other's body, wrapped in each other's arms. Do you not remember that? Please say you do, please say something! The only thing that escapes from your swollen lips is a stream of mist. What? It's cold? I feel fine, yet you are cold. What is wrong? Answer me please. Let me kiss you once more, lost one. I want to touch your lips and feel your love radiate through your empty eyes. But you're gone. Gone and you don't look my way.

Do you hear me? Can you hear me as I call your name? It is a sweet lullaby to me, my stony angel. You used to smile and look towards me when you heard my voice. But now it doesn't even bring a movement out of you. You just stay there. It hurts so much. I can't breathe properly as I sit between the jutting rocks, staring at your broken form. It is then I notice the flowers surrounding you. Even in your state of death you're still so beautiful, the petals pale in comparison to you, dearest.

I lay my hand over yours and you shudder. I move from you, alarmed. Why did you shudder? What have I done? Please, what have I done? No, I've killed you haven't I? I've done this to you! Oh please, speak to me. What ever I did I never meant to hurt you. Why won't you look at me? Acknowledge my existence! I can't live without you, lost one. I'll die if you don't love me any more. You said you'd never leave! Now here you are, distant and dead! Your body shakes even more; you cover your face with your hands and cry hysterically.

No. What's wrong?

My heart is breaking at the sight of you so upset; the empty place fills with your chocking sobs and anguished yells. Calm down. You're scaring the other people. They move from you rather quickly but they are not alarmed. They look saddened; as though it was the only music they've heard. Your lips quiver and one of your hands clutch your chest where your heart is located. You've always had the biggest heart I've known, lost one. I suppose that's what keeps me living. Yet you're dead and I'm not in your state. Shouldn't I be the one crying?

You whisper something in-between your tears. I notice now that I couldn't tell you were crying before because your crying was so vicious. I couldn't tell the tears apart. You hold a necklace to yourself and kiss it. I realise it's the necklace I gave you for our anniversary, a pendant. If you look deep enough within the crystal you could see something special, remember that? You said that you saw a phoenix last time you looked in it. Your lips part again to compose the words spoken so sadly in your angelic voice

"Why? Why did you take him from me?" You scream up at the heavens, hysterical as you cry harder. "I hate you!"

Who do you hate? Is it me?

"You took him from me." Your voice is quieter now, I want to hold you more then ever, I can see the tears cling to your dark eyelashes. "Kai."

I move closer to you in response. What is it lost one? Have you awoken? Do you live again?

"Kai." You mutter again. "Why did you have to die?"

What? I'm not dead! I'm right beside you koibito, look! Stop being silly. I frown and hold your hand. You don't notice this time. You just break into a pitiful mourning session. Body shaking and hunched over, just crying.

Rei?

Please. Stop it.

I'm here baby, look. Hear my voice, see me. I'm right here. Why won't you notice me? Stop crying, this isn't funny!

"Kai." You cry again, repeating my name over and over. Saying that lie again. "Why did you have to die?"

I'm not dead.

I'm not.

Stop kidding, this is not funny. You fall forwards onto the bed of flowers; some petals fly into the air and float around your body. I lift my hand to catch some but I can't.

No.

I'm not dead

I'm not!

Slowly I raise my head to look beyond the sea of petals and see a shining stone. With my name upon it.

No. Rei they're lying to you. I'm right here! Answer me. Answer me!

You can't see me. You can't hear me. I look around and realise where we are. A graveyard? But … but … n-no I'm n-not. I would never leave you. I wouldn't do this.

Your lips aren't frozen, mine are. You're not gone from the world, I am. You're not dead.

I am.

I lean forward and gently touch your arm. You gasp and sit up, eyes wide. My lost one. I place a gentle kiss to your lips, one last time.

So, my stone angel, in your dearest memories do you remember loving me?

Do you remember me at all?

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Rei sat down in his small apartment, looking with agonized eyes at a photo of himself and a young blue haired man, smiling happily. Even after all this time, he still mourned for his lover. Gazing into the pendant he saw him again and smiled softly. A man stood in the corner of the room, unseen by the ebony haired boy. Kai smiled and vanished. Only leaving his last words in the air.

_In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me?_

_Do you remember me at all?_

And Rei would always answer back with the same three words.

_I remember you._

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**Insanewelshangel**: Remember this is a one shot. Just tell me what you think. So Kai died in this, but thought Rei was the one who was dead, until he realised he was dead instead. This was more like an experiment than a story to me. I don't think I pulled it off, I'd have liked for it to have been more subtle and more paranoid, but I've learnt from it :D

Again please review and tell me what you think. Thank you :D


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